Wednesday, August 21, 2013

July?

Somehow July feels like years ago. But I can't believe it's already August. Does that happen to you? It's a weird, recent phenomenon of mine: unbelieving that "time" has past so quickly while also feeling as though that "time" was years ago.

Flying time, twirling like a vulture in the blue.

July was a whirlwind of emotions that have begun to streamline as we've spun into August. My time at Theatre By The Sea - with their production of "Annie" - was the hardest and best experience I've had in a long time.

This was the first show where I was dog-handling as well as performing in the ensemble. Now, I haven't performed in a full scale musical since "The Producers" two years ago... I was terrified and ecstatic all at once. I fell back into rehearsal mode and was reminded me why I'm in this fields; my love of performing and the camaraderie of show-people sparked a super-nova within me. There were the little moments throughout the show (a short jump sequence as a sailor in NYC, singing Ab's in Tomorrow Reprise, a quick comic exit with Ms. Hannigan) that brought life to the dormant actor within my varied soul.

Of course I could not forget the constant magic that is working with animals onstage. Macy truly is a special soul. With a past that would haunt any animal, Macy has risen from ashes to be one of Bill's stars. Her love and trusting outlook is something I strive for in my own life. We had 4 different Annies in a 6 week process, which is unheard of and could have been disastrous for Macy. But she rose above, rising to the occasion like a true professional.

Amidst all the craziness that was this production, I reverted back to an over-analytical, fearful individual: second-guessing choices, feeling lost - similar to that of an addict who begins abusing again. I am able to stand here now and acknowledge these behaviors (that are still flaring up from time to time), while having amazing individuals around me who help me snap out of this destructive mode. And to them, I am too grateful (if that's even possible).

I cannot wait to bring my now packed tool-belt with me to my next dog-handling gig. Next up is a "Legally Blonde" out in Long Beach, CA with Frankie for the fall, then to Jupiter, FL for the winter with Macy for another "Annie" (that I will get to perform in as well).

This must all be a dream I'm living: so grateful.