James and the Giant Peach

I had the distinct pleasure of going to Norma Terris Theater in Chester, CT with my parents to see a new musical rendition of Roald Dahl's story James and the Giant Peach. Let me tell you... It was an absolutely beautiful experience from beginning to end.

With music and lyrics by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul, book by Timothy Allen McDonald, and choreography from the physical theatre company Pilobolus, I was obsessed before I even got there. Not only is James and the Giant Peach one of my all-time favorite childhood books, I also love Pasek and Paul's music having had found them on YouTube a few years ago (this is my favorite song of theirs sung by Gavin Creel: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZqFnNr1mmMY&feature=related) plus the addition of physical theatre which I have loved exploring as well as helping others explore my last two years at Middlebury. Frankly, this production was a dream for me; here was a production combining my two loves, my two passions of the theatre world.

As soon as I stepped into the theatre, the minimalistic approach grabbed me immediately. There was a blank stage littered with spike marks. A bare black brick wall at the back of the stage was all curtain I needed, leaving open a place to play. That is just what these performers did, PLAY, and it was beautiful. Amidst the cleanly and creatively directed scenes and songs (Graciela Daniele... Genius) the essence of "play" was never lost. People who have worked with me both in my direction and choreography know I am a stickler for precision. I saw a lot of precision in this production that was obviously influenced and quite seemingly birthed from the sense of play and gave me a whole new idea of what precision truly means and comes from.

In this production, there are two very distinct types of performers: the musical theatre actors/singers/dancers and the Pilobolus company members. This a brand new production, and a type of production that truly has never been done before, which was so great to experience first hand as an audience member in these early performances and workshop runs (I was at the 6th ever performance). There were times that I could see the "two types of performers" in there own worlds as well as times when the lines blurred. I liked both of these moments and wonder what will happen as they play more and continue to explore each others' worlds...

Every aspect of the show had me engaged. There were moments I laughed, moments I cried, moments I was stupefied, and moments where I was allowed to use my imagination. I personally feel we sometimes forget about our imagination as it is now so easy to just make a digital creation of something. That's what I was expecting at this production: big digital images of a growing peach, The Lion King-esque puppetry for the bugs, etc. But it wasn't, and I couldn't have been happier.

One comment did make me think twice though. There was a little girl behind me who blurted out in the beginning of the first act, "Where's the peach?" All of sudden the possibility of the absence of her imagination filled my thought and how sad that could be. Now, she was maybe 6 and I totally understand her wanting to see the peach. I mean, she's grown up in a world where movies have over-run everything, and digital means are in excess creating really mind-blowing effects. This production just isn't that. It made me go back into my imagination, just as I did when I read the book. I was immediately brought back into my childhood, recounting all the pictures I had created for the story in my head, and that is what made this production so special to me. I just hope that we aren't killing imagination for our younger generations, because I don't know how to get it back once it's gone.

We were lucky enough to go on the night that they were having a talk-back with Benj Pasek, Timothy Allen McDonald, and Michael Tracy (the choreographer from Pilobolus). It was so great to hear how this production came together and their visions for how this exploratory run at the Norma Terris Theater was to continue. McDonald explained that a whole 30 new pages were going in for the next performance totally re-vamping the storyline of the bugs. I guess that's what happens when you only have three weeks to create a brand new show; things will change during the performances. The three creators onstage had some wonderful little tidbits about the theatre and this show:

• Musicals are about extraordinary things that, in our day to day lives, make you who you are.
• Physical theatre is like pantomime as an Olympic sport. It is story telling through the body.
• "This piece will tell us where it needs to be."

I really love that last quote from McDonald. When creating a piece and not knowing if it will be meant for Broadway or just a small theatre in the woods of Connecticut, one must trust the work itself and all the good that is coming from it. The good coming from this production, all the amazing qualities being expressed on stage and behind the scenes, that is the true success of this show. And I can see that everyone involved feels the exact same way about this joy onstage, and that alone will bring James and the Giant Peach: A New Musical to new heights! I just know I can't wait to see it again someday!

True Income.

The first weekend of Fright Train definitely had some frightening moments...

Only one other time in my life have I ever been a part of a production that I truly did not want to go up and perform in. The first was a thrown together production for the new freshman class during orientation my senior year at Middlebury and now, it's Fright Train. Unfortunately, as felt by both the other actors and the director/creator of this show, there has not been nearly enough time to put this large idea into practical formation. And frankly, that sucks. It never feels good to know that if there were just two or three more weeks to really pull this brand new idea into fruition that it would rock.
I don't think it's necessary to go play by play of what happened this weekend and recapping every detail about what went wrong and how it made me feel. Re-venting that just doesn't seem right anymore. Basically, the one chance I had to perform out of the six performances was a flop. The whole climatic section of the show where a bunch of zombies come out of the river toward and onto the train just didn't happen around my car. I had only one zombie come on my train during the whole ten minutes. I scrambled, trying to get the passengers to "stay calm" when there was nothing to be afraid of. Running outside and turning off my microphone, I yelled down the tracks, "I NEED ZOMBIES!" But they never came.

Frankly, it's hilarious now when I write it, let's be honest. But at the time, I was legitimately scared. This was improvisation in a whole new light. I had nothing to work off of, no foundation, and I was floundering. Never have I been that unsure while performing and I just felt awful.
On my way home from this tough weekend, my Aunt Morgan happened to call me, having had just talked with my mother about my trials with this production. We talked for an hour about how I just have to let the answer come to me about where to go with this and how I want this production to affect me, also whether or not I wanted to go on and do the next production with this group, The North Pole Express. All I can do is be grateful for what I have. I must know that my true income doesn't come from a paid gig, but from all those around me who support me to create fully and truly according to my own standards.

So, I don't know yet if I'm going to go on with the Essex Steam Train production as I had thought. I haven't signed any contracts for The North Pole Express, so if it is the correct to leave that production before it has started, so be it. It may just not be the correct place for me to be right now, but I'm still listening for that answer to make sure it comes from a place separate from others and separate from my own ego.

How about a lighter note... :-)

I'm going to Cheyenne's concert at Carnegie Hall with my mom on Friday and I can't wait! It'll be so great to hear him sing live again. Everyone should check out his interview in the November issue of "Out" Magazine. He talks about The Green which is so cool!

Last night I had my first rehearsal for Shoreline Gospel, which I am so excited to be doing. What's better than singing gospel music with a bunch of community members from the shoreline of Connecticut? :-) The joy and love for coming together and singing was so palpable last night. I just haven't sung in a choir like this since high school and I totally missed it. I'm performing with my friend Stuart, and after he saw how happy I was to sing in this choir, he mentioned that he's performing in a choir production of Rob Mathes work in Greenwich in a couple of weeks and that if I could learn the music I could perform too. "YES!" Stuart was so great, he emailed me all the music, copied the sheet music for me to learn, and I go to a rehearsal in Rye, New York tomorrow with him. The music is absolutely wonderful and I can't wait to be singing along with the tenor part, being apart of this larger group where everyone has their duty to create these songs. Once I get more details about both concerts, I'll be sure to let everyone know.

I also just found this on YouTube...
http://www.youtube.com/user/scottalannet#p/u/14/VjBlYhxzl40
Scott Alan is an amazing composer/songwriter and openly gay artist. His music is beautiful and I know I will sing some of his work for that cabaret that I will do someday... :-)

If you can't watch the video (which is hilarious) here's Scott Alan's description of his new project...

"At least once a day I get an email from aspiring musical theatre performers wanting to find ways to explore more opportunities to learn about the industry but one major thing is standing in there way - they can't afford it. Many of my contemporaries offer incredible masterclasses with many teaching courses on how to write for musical theatre or teaching on better ways to audition. Well, starting in January, I too will be starting my own masterclass.

Once a month, I will offer a two hour masterclass at a rehearsal space in New York City. Each class will center on something different pertaining to musical theatre and ways to grow in the field. In addition, each month will host a special guest who will be on hand for the 'Q and A' session with a Broadway Personality. I have already started lining up guests. Those joining us will include Tony Award winning actors and actresses; long running featured members of Broadway's hit shows; Award Winning composers and lyricist (both established and up and coming); Award winning Choreographers; set designers; costume designers; casting directors and many many more !!!

So, what's so special about this masterclass ? Well ...

IT'S FREE !!!!

Yes, you heard me right. Absolutely free. I will be taking care of all the costs myself. Why, you may ask, would I do something like that ... well, the answer is simple - I love the arts and I have been fortunate enough to make a living doing what it is I love. When I started producing the 'Monday Nights, New Voices' series, I started realizing how important it is to give back to the community. I make no money off of this series, often losing money, and yet, I am more proud of producing this night of new talent then of anything else I have ever done so far in the industry. What it comes down to is ... I love what I do and it is so rare for people to love what they do. Truthfully, I wouldn't be able to do this without any of you and so, for one year, every month, I will host this masterclass as my way to give back to all of you.

So, why should I pick you ? Great question I don't know the answer to, yet !! It's time for you to tell me. Each person applying will need to write me a short essay about what theatre means to them and why being accepted into this program is important for you. It is as simple as that."

So, by November 15th, I'm going to write my essay about why theatre is so important to me, what it has done for me in my own life, and where I hope to go with it. I also really want to do his "Monday Nights, New Voices", and will be sending in my information and links for that as well very soon.

Right now I'm looking for opportunities that will keep me experiencing my passion, keep me learning more about myself and how I work, and keep me choosing happiness. These experiences and opportunities that allow this growth are not all amazing and glittery, but they are the ones that keep me on the correct path and supply the true income of all that I need at that time.

Anxiety. Questions. Steps.

Remember when I thought I was going to sit down and write a week ago? Yeah... consistency right?

Someday.

February is a definite. I will move into the city as soon as I can after getting home from Middlebury in January. I have to be there. There is no use trying to wait and earn more money because my time here at home is just creating inconsistency with my goals and wishes. So, I'll finish out my jobs and gigs that I have already agreed to, keep my head as level as possible, stay as positive and driven as possible, stay focused, and get ready to move into the Big Apple with whatever I have in February. It'll be time. That's that. Done and done.

This past Tuesday I went to the dancer call for West Side Story on Broadway. Now, here's a dancing show through and through. Everyone knows West Side Story for its iconic steps, jumps, formations, and choreographed battles between Jets and Sharks. So I was taking this audition as a great opportunity to just learn a piece of this legend, to feel somehow, in a small way, a part of it.
It was so hard.
Going from a quick turning jump straight to a big attitude jump into to a quick double pencil turn all within the first 8 counts was so crazy. One could say it had me on my toes, but the choreographer kept urging us to get lower and angrier. As my tall body tried its best to get into that powerful plie in that awfully crowded room, I watched my stapled resume and headshot go into the middle pile of the three piles on the floor.
What was the middle pile!!!
I watched other dancers, picking out the best in each group, and then would try and spot where their headshot landed... I was only able to spot one clearly; the resume of the best dancer of the group went into the far left pile. Okay, I'm in the middle, and his went into the far left.... What does that mean?
As my mind raced, trying to figure out what it meant to be in the middle pile, I kept trying to bring back my thought to the choreography, to continue watching and reviewing the steps. It was a struggle.
Then the choreographer went to the middle pile...
"I would like to see these people again..."
Yes! As always, another opportunity to dance is a good sign. I was put into the second group of the "Try-Again/Middle" pile. I danced and wasn't perfect, but I did my best to hold onto that brooding quality of the West Side Story guy. Be angry, use it in the dance...
Then I was cut. I didn't get to go on and sing my 16 bars with the mainly Hispanic looking dancers who were put through. So who knows, maybe they weren't even looking for Jets...? Or maybe I am just not cut out for this level of dancing right now. It did make me think about how I needed to get my butt back into class and back in dancing shape. But where's the time? The money? I guess I gotta make both happen to be serious.
And, when it comes down to it, at least I wasn't immediately put in that far right pile, so I was proud of myself for that. I had a blast learning this choreography, and hope they have another one soon so I could try again. Good practice.

The Essex Steam Train's production of Fright Train opens this Friday. Ticket sales are not great right now so all the performers are performing only a few times throughout the run. Thus my actual first performance isn't until Sunday night, which I am totally fine with. I'll be able to watch the other performers and learn what works and what doesn't before I go on myself.
This process has brought on a lot of anxiety. It's one of these creations where everyone (including myself I must say) has an idea about how this brand new concept should be taken into the flesh and thus ideas are swirling and bouncing off in all directions. Along with this, we have a six page, single-spaced, story to tell in an interactive way to an audience. That's a lot, and I definitely freaked when I was given that two weeks ago and knew that I had to perform this so soon.
Tonight, I actually had to leave the room because I got so anxious and freaked out, wondering how this was all going to come together, trying to find a way to calm myself with the answer of how to make this all fit together and become the scary and entertaining piece we all want to be a part of. I called Leah on the verge of tears asking for any guidance. After a bit of venting, chatting, and relaxing, Leah told me I had to approach the director and just tell him how I was feeling to give him a heads up and hopefully get any support I could from that outlet. She also brought up how she felt so strongly that this could be part of the effect of my living at home, and what that has always made me be. Whenever I came home for an extended period of time from Middlebury, I would freak. I would always seem to journal more at home than I would at school, feeling so distant and unbalanced in this only now somehow supportive place of my life. My home hadn't changed, but I had, and my new mold didn't fit as well as before.
**Talking about this reminded me of a song written by Kait Kerrigan and Brian Lowdermilk... Have a listen:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5yEqCRudi4o**
Taking Leah's advice, I went to the director after and explained how I was feeling and wanting to clear up where I was in my process of sharing this story with the audience and where I believed I could go for the actual performances. We talked and agreed on how it was important to get the beats of the story and let the audience experience this ghostly horror within themselves, envisioning all the happenings I share. And thus, if that means not getting every word precisely as written, so be it.
I felt so much better after that on all levels. This conversation also allowed me to just let go of not only the anxiety about the show, but also any confusion, frustration, or depression that would try to enter my thoughts during the day while here in Connecticut. Recently I have found myself in ruts, whirled into these over-analytical processes about everything from money to relationships to what I'm eating. And in turn, I have been stuffing my face with fatty foods late into the night thinking that that will somehow calm me down, when in fact it only makes me more agitated and depressed. I can't remember the last time I had a day where I went to the gym and ate four balanced meals. In turn, I feel unbalanced, scattered. I keep pushing it off: "Oh, I'll eat well tomorrow and just pig out today" or "I'll just go to the gym tomorrow" which never happens. This decline has really affected my mental health and how I am able to accomplish certain goals. The more I put off a healthy life, the farther I feel I get from being on top of my game to actively and effectively pursue this career I have chosen.
In other words, I just need to get my butt in gear and turn around. And I'm going to. I will.

Yesterday, my former a cappella group The Middlebury College Bobolinks came down to Guilford on their fall tour to sing at my church. This was the fourth year in a row that they've been down here, and I was so excited to have them all back at my house. We've always done well at my church. Through donations and CD sales we would come out with close to $400-$500 each year which was amazing. This year, we asked back Daniel Hand High School's Encore! choir to sing. They are a very high quality group and we were so excited to have them sing with us again. I only sang with the Bobos on the last song, Boys II Men's "I'll Make Love To You", which my last semester I had the solo on for the bridge section. Before that though, I took a bit of time to sing some contemporary show tunes. They were all ones that were not well known and very new-age with complex accompaniment and even sometimes a more pop sound. I sang:
"Run Away With Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=61EL69OZSlY
"What Is It About Her?"http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pdSARRkQdHg
"How Glory Goes" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ztXv_79ZxoU
I had a blast singing these songs, and I will probably sing them again at this cabaret that I keep saying I'm going to do someday. I want to work them again and see what more I can do with them acting and singing wise.
It was fun and weird all at the same time with the Bobolinks in Guilford after I had graduated. It was amazing to have the Bobos, my first true family at Middlebury, all hanging out again with me at my house. It was as if I never left, and that's what was so great and strange. There were times where I was able to separate myself from them and appreciate how amazing they sounded and meshed without the large class that just graduated. I was a proud parent at that time and I couldn't be happier to be on the outside. But then I would somehow find myself falling back into the mentality that I was still in the group. I was ironing my shirt for the show and was just thinking how I was going to be right back up on stage with them all and be singing the songs as I had done the past three years at this hometown concert. And then I remembered how I had graduated and that wasn't the deal anymore and I was thrown back into that whirlwind of fear and confusion of this present, post-graduation, living at home status I am a part of at the moment.
Then I would think about how I would be at Middlebury all of January, throwing myself into so many more of these opportunities of confusion and strange separation mixed with being present in this environment that I will forever more have a different connection with. While I have no idea what will come of this until I'm actually there, I'll just deal with it then. I can't do anything or know anything about that now, so there is no need to question it now.
Overall, I am so happy that the Bobolinks came and visited me. Sure it was so sad to say goodbye after such a short visit, but I knew I would be seeing them all so soon for J-Term. And while I got to have heart-to-hearts with some, I didn't get to with everyone. The Bobolinks was the best family to be a part of at school. It allowed for so many different yet strong relationships to be formed. When I was a freshman and sophomore, Tim and Scotty were the older brothers I never had. They  were my tenor buddies and made me not only the singer, but the man that I am today. And while I wasn't around as much as I wanted to be with the Bobos due to theatre and swimming,  I tried my best to fill Tim and Scotty's shoes, bringing in my younger tenor brothers like Todd and Sam, and did my best to show them the tenor style and fun attitude Tim and Scotty shared with me.
I look forward to hear about the rest of their fall tour and all the fond memories they are creating. Every year, fall tour was always what I looked forward to the most. I know each of the current Bobos will make memories like I did, and I couldn't ask for anything more than that.

So far, post-graduation has been set in very specific stages through my experiences. There was a) graduation, b) work, c) shows and a movie, d) new york city auditions, and now e), the next step that is still seemingly a little scattered. I'm trying to work, I'm trying to audition, I'm trying to get this show together, and I'm trying to be present. My balance isn't perfect right now, but I'm doing my best to get there and feel secure in knowing that I am taking the correct steps to not only be successful, but more importantly to be happy and to love what I am doing.

Recently, a lot has been going on, flying at me from all angles. Before, I was letting everything hit me where it hurt. Now I'm saying, "Bring it!"

Consistency.

So I'm realizing that my whole consistency deal with this blog is not really there yet.

Something to look forward to. :-)

The past few weeks have been insane but great. I've been in the city running around, auditioning, and bumming on couches more than at home working. This obviously has its ups and downs. But let's just say that this whole life style of living at home and trying to make a name for myself in New York City has been exciting and strenuous. The past two trips that I've taken have had me there for five days or more. And let me tell you, packing bags that can be mobile and hold enough clothes and stuff for five days isn't that easy for me... But I must say that my packing skills have really exceeded an excellence that I didn't even know possible.

All jokes aside, this lifestyle that I've been leading lead me to a conversation with one of my best friends in the whole world, Leah. I met Leah at Middlebury when she was a senior and I was a freshman. I auditioned for the a cappella group that she was in and immediately became friends. We also both did theatre which made us immediate kindred spirits. Leah was also the first person that I talked to about being gay. We both tell the story differently, but how I remember it is that I said that it was something I was thinking about and she immediately started searching for a boyfriend for me in the show we were about to do together, Cabaret, which was my first show at Middlebury. Little did we know that month before we started rehearsals that she would introduce me to my first boyfriend who played Ernst Ludwig and the rest would be history. :-)

Leah and I chatted about my past month of auditioning and regularly being in and out of the city. Between September 7th and October 3rd, I've gone to 13 auditions and was seen at 11 of them. For those I've been in for two days at a time and sometimes six. And while it has been great to live at home, it has not made everything the easiest as I try to find my own way in the city. The mere factor of not always having a definite place to go back to and sleep or raid the fridge, a place of my own, is hard. And I'm tired. I'm tired. How can I be my best at an audition when I'm tired and trying to make my plans for the next day or where I'm sleeping that night? I can't.

These are all the great points that Leah was able to bring up in her supportful, loving, and caring way of hers that no one else is able to do. She has made it known that she believes I need to be there to do it. I need to officially live there and try. Because if I don't, and I keep trying it this way with this inconsistency, who knows where my future will actually lead me. I need to try, and I can't try if I'm still at home.

The next step that I can take now is making myself a trajectory, a path on which I want to accomplish certain things and be certain places at specific times for the near future. I haven't made this yet, but I hope to in the next few days and post it in my bathroom so I will see it everyday. All I know is I want to be in New York City in February. I'm going to be in New York City in February and will do whatever it takes for me to get there then. Stayed tuned for that...

Okay... now a bit of an update.

Last week I went to the EPAs for Emma the musical, my first audition at Telsey Company. I stayed there for about two hours, with my knitting in my hand, and was then told they weren't seeing any non-equity or EMC auditioners that day. I heard near after that that happens a lot at Telsey... Unfortunately too that was the only audition I had that trip into the city. I was able to see friends and catch up though which was really nice. Kinda of a bust though.

This most recent trip that I got home from today was much better! It was definitely a rocky start though. First off, I realized as I was on the train in that I forgot to bring more copies of my headshot and resume. One copy just wasn't going to cut it for the three auditions that I was planning to go to. Luckily my mother was able to email me with attachments of both, and I was going to have enough time before my catering gig that night to run to a Kinkos and print off some copies. I get there with the perfect amount time. Then it was just a snowball effect downhill from then on:
- Of course only one of the machines was working, and someone was using it for a good 15 minutes.
- The scanner and printer was SO slow! So I decided to just leave the fourth and final copy in the machine because I was cutting it close in needing to get downtown.
- I got lost in the hectic mess of midtown, finally finding the 1 train drenched in sweat having run around in circles with two bags and my catering clothes on a hanger all in hand. As I went for my MetroCard, I realized I left my credit card in that scanner. I freaked. I had ten minutes to get to my gig and ten blocks to walk back to the Kinkos and hopefully find my card.
- I called my boss and explain the situation, and he was great saying just get there as soon as I can. Luckily the card was still there, but I get to my gig 45 minutes late, now sopping wet with sweat. I tried to clean myself up, threw on my clothes, grabbed a platter, and walked around with wild mushroom-sundried tomato flatbreads, mini-burgers (the biggest hit), and fruit tarts for the rest of the night.
I finally ended up at Emily's to crash and get up early the next morning for two auditions the next day. A long day to say the least.

The first audition of the day I went to with Emily. It was for The Flea's Theater non-equity company, The Bats, which two Middlebury alumni are in. It called for two contrasting monologues, one classical and one contemporary. Now, I can't remember the last time I've done a monologue for an audition and I was super nervous. I first chose to do Arnold from Torch Song Trilogy, which I did for my senior thesis up at school. I knew it, I felt comfortable with it, and how many people come in and do a drag queen monologue for an audition? My second was Oberon from Midsummer, which I did for Acting 2 junior year... So it was in there, somewhere.
When we got there for our time slots we had signed up for before, we heard they were only seeing one monologue each rather than both. So immediately I put all my focus into Arnold. As Emily comes out, she says that they had her do both... Then I was asked to come in.
Arnold went amazingly well. I was shocked at how much the artistic director and other company members in the room were laughing. It was a great feeling! I feel that I had gotten all the beats even with a shortened version of what I did for my thesis. As I was about to leave the room, they asked for my second. Shit.
I started off, and about four lines in I started to be my own Shakespeare... Six lines in I stopped and asked if I could start over.
He said no.
He then proceeded to give me a three minute long lecture about why he doesn't allow people to start over and how ultimately that class attitude shows how I could be to work with in the future. I couldn't get out of there fast enough. I was so embarrassed. Sure, I knew my Shakespeare was not as prepared as it should have been. Now I know how important it is to have that extra piece, pristine in your back pocket. But I took it as a good lesson to be learned to really have everything put together in my audition. However, it was cool that I was asked to do my second as Emily pointed out. Something must have went right for the first, and they wanted to see more. Who knows what will happen from that though...

Soon after this bomb, I had to pick myself off the ground and get ready for what I've been looking forward to for weeks now: the La Cage Aux Folles dancer auditions. I saw the production that is on Broadway now in London last summer and was absolutely amazed by the talent of Les Cagelles. I knew immediately I wanted to be one of them, but I feel my dancing is not up to snuff. Really when it comes down to it, I'm not bendy enough; I don't have the full split. Nonetheless, I saw this dancer call and I knew I had to go, try, and see what happens. Really there was nothing to lose.
I was in the second group to go. As I watched the first group come out sweaty and bleary-eyed, I knew I was in for a treat. The associate choreographer who was teaching us was the guy who played Hannah in the West End production I saw as well as Hannah here in the states. It was just an honor to be near him; he is phenomenal. At one point it looked like he just kinda tripped into the most beautiful leap... I was in awe.
The first round was a simple ballet combination. We went in groups of three. I was in the second group in the back of the triangle they put us in. As we started, I immediately realized I had two non-dancers in front of me, getting in my way, and throwing me off. I was furious and petrified. Were these two guys who were throwing me off going to keep me from moving on?
Luckily no. I moved on to the second round! Next we learned the actual choreography from the show. It was not easy, and there were parts that I never really got perfectly. But the choreographer said something that really stuck with me: "All you have to do is focus on yourself in this room. No one else. Perform, indulge, and have fun." Each time I practiced the combination and when I finally went out, I prepared myself and performed to have fun. Sure, I lost it a bit when the difficult parts came, but when I came to a part I knew, I put all that I could into the step. I wasn't thrilled with my first go, but they asked myself and two other guys to try it one more time, which was awesome! The second time was much better, and got me to the next round where I was going to be able to sing my 16 bars! I had gotten through all the dancing for the La Cage Aux Folles auditions and was moving onto a section of my art that i was much more comfortable with... I was on Cloud 9!
The 16 bars were okay. I sang "All I Need Is The Girl" again. The bell tone I got at the beginning was a lot different than I had had before, so I kinda slid to my first note. But after that it was okay. Overall though, I was just so ecstatic that I had gotten that far for a show that I would do anything to be a part of.

The next day I was going to go back for the chorus singer call for La Cage, and hopefully be able to sing another 16 bars for the casting director as well as the musical director. I was wondering if a lot of people did go for both, and was interested if I was going to see some of the same guys from the day before. I saw only a few which was interesting. I personally still don't know if I'm a dancer who sings or a singer who dances. But for now, why not go twice and be seen twice?
I got in to sing my next 16 bars from "Old Devil Moon". After I sang, the casting director said, "Terrific!" I was shocked. Never in my life have I ever had a person auditioning me say that before. It was amazing! Sure, who knows what it actually meant or even if he says that to everyone. All I know is that he remembered me from the day before, he didn't say that the day before, and he seemed like a genuine guy. With all of that, I obviously still have no idea what that could mean for my future in this show if there is any. But, it did give me a boost of confidence that I am at least doing some things right, and that I need to keep on trying. I do have something to offer, now I just have to find a way to be as consistent as I can in showing my talent and that it is meant to be seen by more than a mirror, piano, and casting director.

My next phase is to spend a bit more time at home and work a bit more. I will still go in for some auditions, but maybe not as many as I have been going in for these past 27 days. I want to continue to be seen and to be known as a contender for this business. There's still a long way to go and I lot more to do, but it's all coming in time. Hopefully my trajectory will help. I know it will help.