I recently came to a prompt in my journal based on a line from Baz Luhrmann's "Everybody's Free To Wear Sunscreen", a message to the class of 1999:
DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE FUTURE. KNOW THAT WORRYING IS AS EFFECTIVE AS CHEWING BUBBLE GUM TO SOLVE AN ALGEBRA EQUATION.
I've always believed this future to be the one years from now. The one where we've succeeded at our career, where we've collected the family, where we've seen "it". But I've been hitting blockades recently that I know are keeping me from whatever "it" is. It's the minor stuff like starting my new knitting project, reaching out to a friend, and writing a blog post.
Procrastination doesn't fully express these blockades. And it's not the fear of starting. It's the fear of starting and not having it be correct. There are times when the tools just haven't formed to feel comfortable taking the next step; I fear going forward empty handed.
What I'm realizing though is that the majority of these tools bubble to existence in the midst of the action. It's when my fear gets in the way that I am unable to grasp them to ultimately use them.
The future that I have been worrying about is the one ten minutes ahead of me. That's the future to release all expectations from, allowing it to flow whatever way it does into my travels.
"If you are depressed, you are living in the past.
If you are anxious, you are living in the future.
If you are at peace, you are living in the present."
- Lao Tzu