Sunday, February 19, 2012

One Year: Part 5

5. SHADOW TO THE HOSTESS
For a few of my catering gigs, I’m given the task of being the “Shadow to the Hostess”. Aka, I follow either the bride, the mother of the bride, the mother of the mother of the bride, some other mother (you get the picture) with her clutch and drink in hand all day and night. I’m there to make sure she is taken care of, getting her anything she might need, or making her a plate of food to nibble on at some point of the night. 
In these situations, I usually turn up the flame on my own Gay Barometer. The mothers LOVE IT; it’s like their own personal gay best friend for the night to make them feel fabulous and fierce. 
Here are some of my regular lines:
“Your dress is fantastic! And no, your arms don’t look fat when you take off your shawl... Yes, of course I would tell you if they did look fat...”
“Oh, let’s put on a little more lip gloss.”
“Your earring is caught and turned around in your hair. I’ll get it...”
The silliest.

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